Bad Day Blues

Bad Day Blues 

I went to see a doctor, he said "You don't look well"

I said "Why! What's the matter?"

He said "Boy, you look like hell" 

I told him it was nothing

This was just the way I've always been 

He said "I got no pills to cure the strangest man that I've ever seen!"

I visited an optician and she said I couldn't see

I said that I'd just seen a car...

It pulled right out on me!

"How come if I'm so blind...

Did I manage to jump out of its way?"

She said "Well... I don't know! I guess this must be your lucky day"

I bumped into a cop outside 

And he gave me some advice 

He said I'd need an ambulance 

Or a beating would suffice 

I said "It was an accident... I'm sorry if I stepped upon your feet"

Well...He locked me in handcuffs, said "You shouldn't even be walkin' the street"

When I got out it was dark outside 

I needed me a feast

I popped into a church to get directions from a priest

He tried to fill my spirit with a little piece of Host

But a pizza is the thing that I'd been craving the most

My stomach it was rumbling and I really had to fly

I said "I'll call back later on" but that was maybe a lie

 

I met an undertaker...

Could this day get any worse

He measured me to see if I might fit inside his hearse 

I told him I'm not ready, I wont be needing him today

He said "I'll see you later son" but before I got away

He gave me a wink... And then he handed me his card

It read he drove a taxi cab and that his name was Bernard 

Could I be going crazy? 

Am I already mad?

This had to be the weirdest day I ever had

I told the driver where to go... I said to be sure

 "Take me to the doc Bernard, he could've found a cure"

Well Bernie he just smiled and said "I'll get you there quick

'Cause you ain't looking' too good my friend... You're  lookin'  kinda sick"