Bad Day Blues
I went to see a doctor, he said "You don't look well"
I said "Why! What's the matter?"
He said "Boy, you look like hell"
I told him it was nothing
This was just the way I've always been
He said "I got no pills to cure the strangest man that I've ever seen!"
I visited an optician and she said I couldn't see
I said that I'd just seen a car...
It pulled right out on me!
"How come if I'm so blind...
Did I manage to jump out of its way?"
She said "Well... I don't know! I guess this must be your lucky day"
I bumped into a cop outside
And he gave me some advice
He said I'd need an ambulance
Or a beating would suffice
I said "It was an accident... I'm sorry if I stepped upon your feet"
Well...He locked me in handcuffs, said "You shouldn't even be walkin' the street"
When I got out it was dark outside
I needed me a feast
I popped into a church to get directions from a priest
He tried to fill my spirit with a little piece of Host
But a pizza is the thing that I'd been craving the most
My stomach it was rumbling and I really had to fly
I said "I'll call back later on" but that was maybe a lie
I met an undertaker...
Could this day get any worse
He measured me to see if I might fit inside his hearse
I told him I'm not ready, I wont be needing him today
He said "I'll see you later son" but before I got away
He gave me a wink... And then he handed me his card
It read he drove a taxi cab and that his name was Bernard
Could I be going crazy?
Am I already mad?
This had to be the weirdest day I ever had
I told the driver where to go... I said to be sure
"Take me to the doc Bernard, he could've found a cure"
Well Bernie he just smiled and said "I'll get you there quick
'Cause you ain't looking' too good my friend... You're lookin' kinda sick"