Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Great Spirit

I thank you Great Spirit
For the warmth of the sun
For the trees that protect us
For the river that run
I thank you for rain
For the fire and the land
I give thanks for the life line
You etched on my hand
I give thanks for the moon 
I give thanks for the earth 
And i thank you for children 
You guide from their birth
I thank you for stars
That will show us the way
And i thank you Great Spirit
For giving this day

Tuesday, February 21, 2017


In the place where i was lost
I couldn't find my wings
All i found was darkness 
And so many scary things
My feathers had been missing 
In the shrouding of the night
I found my body grounded
Not a chance of taking flight 
But an angel saw me in the dark
She put a light in me
I opened up my tired eyes 
And found that i could see
My wings were left unbroken 
So i put them on display 
The daylight had returned again....
I stood up... Then flew away

Sunday, February 19, 2017

The Wolves (Are Howling Sorrow)

If you leave i beg thee
Untie these binds that shackle me
If you go i ask this
Wipe clean your bitter Judas kiss
But if you stay, remain here
Don't let love run colder still 
And if you stay, refrain here 
Don't feed from me until...

The wolves are howling sorrow
Singing songs in their disguises 
The skins that they all borrow 
Call out as the moon arises 

If you leave i beg thee
Leave the darkness here with me
And if you go i ask you
Leave me strength to pull me through
But if you stay, remain here
Don't let love grow colder still
And if you stay, refrain here
Don't drink from me until...

The wolves are howling sorrow
Singing songs in their disguises 
The skins that they all borrow 
Call out as the moon arises 

If you leave, believe me
All our walls would fall apart
And if you go, i plead thee
Unwind the wire from my heart
But if you say, remain here
Don't let love run colder still
And if you stay, refrain here
Don't drain me, not until...

The wolves are howling sorrow
Singing songs in their disguises 
The skins that they all borrow 
Call out as the moon arises 

The wolves are howling sorrow
Singing songs in their disguises 
The skins that they all borrow 
Call out with... the moons surprises 


You sidewind like a silky snake
You dance across the floor
You find the sheets and curl up close
And leave me longing more 
You wrap yourself around me
You entice me with a kiss
You whisper words repeatedly 
A soft and gentle hiss 
You rattle every bone in me
You constrict the breath i breathe 
You slip and slide toward the door
Then silently you leave 

Saturday, February 18, 2017


a DEAD SOUL Screams inside of me
i share a name the same as he
like STILL and silent steeple bells 
PASSOVER shall come somehow

Ian Curtis 1956-1980

Friday, February 17, 2017

The Stranger

You're asking to me to set you free 
I'm not the man you think you see 
I'm someone who will put your life in danger 
I'm begging you, please treat me as a stranger
I beg of you, please treat me as a stranger

You built a boat in which to sail
From splintered wood and rusty nails 
You said the parts were salvaged from a manger 
But I beg of you, don't put your life in danger
Please hear the words now spoken from a stranger

I've shaved my beard and cut my hair 
I can't remember my last prayer
Why would you come to think that I'm your saviour?
I'm nothing but a hobo and a stranger 
I am nothing but a passerby and stranger  

I travel on this lonely road 
No baggage but a heavy load
If i had money i would place a wager
You'd never guess how many need a saviour?
And i'd bet my life I really am a stranger

So I'm asking you to set you free 
I thank you for your company 
I must be on my way, have a good day sir
Just pass me by as though i were a stranger 
Just pass me by and say you met a stranger

The Lone Thrush

A thrush sat in a dying tree 
Singing songs for all to hear
It's song such perfect harmony 
As crystal as the day was clear
The other birds all startled spoke
"Why sing in such a dreary tree?"
The thrush returned his answer
"So someone will notice me"

Pretty Little Head

I did not think to ask you your name
It seemed we'd known each other long
I thought i'd seen that pretty little head  
It's not often that i am proved wrong
Didn't we once sail the seas on a clipper ship?
Or was that a memory i once caused to sink 
Maybe it was in some seedy motel room
If you'd just give me a moment to think!
I seem to remember those cherry red lips 
Although lines from your years i've not noticed before
You wear them so well with such elegant grace
If you don't mind me saying, you would suit a few more 
Weren't we beggars awhile in years distant past?
Wearing rags that dressed only our shivers at night 
Where all that we had was nothing but us
And we bathed in day under anything light
Maybe it was Eden where i first saw your face!
Was it there that i tasted your warm tender kiss?
You were the fruit that was strictly forbidden 
But one that i could not resist 
I guess that my memory just isn't that good
And i suppose that all past is now slipping away
But i know you from somewhere! Do you mind if i ask?
What name are you using today?

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Christ White Light

I stand here in your Christ white light
Surrounded by the pitch of night
A second coming yet unseen 
To cleanse my sins and wipe me clean
Within this petrifying light
I feel the heat of deeper night
Eternal darkness kissing me
With such desire, so passively 
If i should step out from your light
And give myself to thee tonight 
Would there be any space for me?
To delve into infinity 
Without a light i cannot shine 
Or fill this hollow that is mine 
I wait upon your mercy call
Before i step and fall  

Secret Cabaret

In this secret cabaret 
Sheets in twisted disarray 
Hair disheveled, skin unclean 
The mirrors misted ghostly sheen 
Amidst this den of tortured lies
Still echoing perverted cries 
Bodies stretched now lying still
Contented with unholy fill 
Sweat drips cold on hot licked flesh 
The sins which neither shall confess 
Heartbeats simmer, silence loud 
No love in here allowed 
In the shadows candles dance 
Ignited by a spirit trance 
One which holds no bounds of sleep
Enticing those to fall in deep
In an act of mortal whim 
Where every bent and splintered limb
Shall blindly fall undignified  
And keep their shame inside 

Wednesday, February 15, 2017


Is on its way
Maybe tomorrow 
Who's to say? 
Are you ready?
Now don't pretend
Your time is coming
Embrace your end

Open your eyes 
See the blood drenched wastelands
Where the dead shall rise
Nowhere to run to 
No place to hide 
You shall drink your worst fears 
In the tears you cried 

Is about to fall
When the lights go out 
Hell shall welcome all
When your nerves start twitching 
And your life expires   
We will burn forever 
In eternal fires 


What of all i've hated?
Of all that i've despised!
Everything i've frowned upon
Should i epitomize!
To be the vulture swooping down 
Intent to find his fill
No matter then the enemy 
Or who i choose to kill
I'd hang upon a splintered cross
I'd be the lone wolfs howl
Or just content as shadow
In the darkness where i'd prowl 

You, Of All Teachers

I once met a butcher 
Who was killing a lamb 
I said "What gives you the right to take innocent life?"
He said "You my friend, you would not understand
You've not known of the death that i take with this knife
If you like, i will show you, i will teach you my trade
Then you will honestly know how a murder is made"

I came to a dealer
Who was selling his crack
I said "Why do you paint all these lost souls in black?"
He said "Follow me, if you must know the truth
You will see that they need me, I'll give you the proof
And if you like, once i've shown you, i will teach you my trade
You can resurrect demons from the hell i have made"

I saw a politician 
And i looked in his eyes
I said "How can you spread such deceit with your lies?"
He said "You are but one in a score i can't fool
But the others i master, of them i can rule!
If you listen, i'll show you, i shall teach you my trade
You can help correct errors in judgements i've made"

I bumped into God 
And i asked him of this
"You once gave your son to a traitors cold kiss
Of all of the teachers in which i have learned
It is you that i find myself mostly concerned 
You watched over killings, yet don't seem to care
And left so many lives in such pain and despair"
God he just sighed "Shall i teach you my trade?
My angel, my devil, the man i once made"

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

I Will Hold You (Till The Morning Comes)

I... Know you understand
That i need your hand
Just to get me there
You... Are that place called love
And the one true thing...
That I'm certain of 

In the night
That's when i need you
In the night
I'll guarantee you
Through the night
I will hold you... till the morning comes 

You... Like an unlocked door
Bring me back for more
I'd like to thank you babe
I... Know you care for me 
But you let me go...
Never to need a key


In the night
That's when i need you
In the night
I'll guarantee you
Through the night
I will hold you... till the morning comes 

We... We are much the same
Had our share of pain
But i'd never hurt you
So... When the night skies fall
You can count on me... I will hear you call

In the night
You know that i need you
In the night
I'll guarantee you
Through the night
I will hold you... till the morning comes 

In the night
That's when i need you
In the night
I'll guarantee you
Through the night
I will hold you... till the morning comes 

The Final Laugh

I'll not forget this battle
You were winning for a while
But i required the final laugh
And cut myself a smile 
So now you'll never beat me
No matter how hard you try
I'll still be smiling, even if...
You cause your son to cry

Monday, February 13, 2017

Of All The Girls

Of all the girls i've known before 
It's you the one i thought of 
I saw your eyes and knew... 
that this is what it's like to be in love
I dreamed about you many times 
I pulled you from the water 
And held you in my arms then cried...
"Thank god it's me that caught ya!"
You were drifting to another place
A land beyond the calling sea
Far enough to take you...
where you"d never be alone with me 
I woke to find you lying here
Naked at my side
I sat and stroked your pretty hair
Before i gently cried 
Because my dreaming was so real
Was it thoughts that you were feeling?
A secret locked away inside 
That you had been concealing 
I could never love another 
You are all i ever wished for 
And if truth be known
My wish came true and you were so much more...
than any gift that's ever given 
I often compliment the angels 
Who surely placed you here with me
Surrounding you in candles 
That burn within the midnight hour
With ghosts upon the ceiling 
Watching every move you make
Incase you thought of leaving 
But you open up your tired eyes 
Just like the day that's dawning 
And roll into my loving arms 
Where you stay until the morning 
I wake and smell the coffee 
That she pours me everyday
And all my fears and worries... drift away  

Consider a Moment

If i may ask you'll consider a moment to stay for awhile 
I will promise you truth from a heart that reflects with a smile
I cannot move mountains but truth is, i've not even tried! 
If i said that i had then you'd know from the start i had lied 
I've not parted an ocean, but who in their right mind would say?
I could give it a go if you'll consider that moment to stay
Maybe the stars are the jewels that you'd like me to reach!
We could find them in pools on the rocks if we searched on the beach  
I may not have money but love in abundance i'd give
You might find that's all that a lifetime in love needs to live 
And all that i ask is you'll sleep in my arms with that smile
And consider that moment and hopefully stay here awhile 


I cannot stop this trembling 
As I walk upon soft clouds
The light has taken everything
That darkness often shrouds 
My mind no longer mine it seems
Confusion settling in 
I think about what might have been 
Without the pills within 
If all the hurt i locked away
Pours free from me at last
Then what of years i've wasted
That are now a distant past 

Mourning Light

Seek the glow of morning light
Where angels wings may take to flight 
No demons here to bark or bite 
Until the falling of the night
Avoid the glint of mourning light
The silent guild forever bright
Keeping dusk and dawn at bay 
To drag your soul away


When the breakdown finally found him
Violent storms had swelled in size
Tear duct dams then overflowed 
And freed themselves from desperate eyes 
The people saw this man as strong
His nature not to fall apart
But they'd not seen the fractured pump
That crumbled in his heart
To them his worries never mattered
He would pull himself on through
Unbeknown to other eyes 
His ship was sinking in the blue
And in his torment very dark
He turned his ship from distant docks
Which only steered his sorry soul 
To crash upon the rocks 

Winters Kiss

In the cold of winter
I reach to find your hand
It's all that i can comprehend 
I hope you understand
This ladder leads to heaven
If i pass the broken rungs 
My head all filled with pieces 
Of our broken hearted songs 
I long for your enchanting kiss
In which i love to drown 
But heaven is a long way up
And hell just weighs me down 

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Vacant Eyes

Am i the something you kept secret?
Am i the secret that you hide?
Am i a friend or more a hindrance? 
And a burden deep inside
Am i not worthy of your heart?
Just a name you criticize  
I can't break all those thoughts apart
Within your vacant eyes  

Am i the blood that pours from your wrists?
Am i the pain you talk about?
Am i the traitor that you sometimes kissed?
Yet never bragged about
Am i the nothing you made me to be?
Or just a thing that you despise!
I cannot pull that wall apart
Within your vacant eyes 

Stop The Clock

Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick
Someone better stop the clock and better do it quick
All our dreams of yesterday are now a distant past 
The clocks that hang upon our walls are ticking much too fast

Tock tick tock tick tock tick tock
I wonder if this hammer will delay this fucking clock?
It's taking so much life and if i cannot stop it now
Then it will steal everything a lifetime will allow

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Falling Apart

I hope that my feelings will free me someday
And you hear the things I've been longing to say
If while I'm above you my voice can be heard
You might care to listen, if for only one word 
The secrets i tell you may come out all wrong
No matter how heartfelt, forgive then my tongue 
For you hold the answers I'm needing to hear
Yet questions unanswered i might come to fear
To say that i LOVE you could scare you away
And you might be gone in the light of that day
Leaving me here with a broken down heart
Blatantly falling apart

All Possessions

Only spirits rise
When the body dies
All possessions mean nothing at all
In the carcass, flies
Maggots eat what dies 
All possessions creep before they start to crawl  

And the rain shall pour and wash all sins away
While your sleep in morbid disarray 

Only time will tell
How your body fell
All possessions left to fall and break apart
They will gather dust
They will turn to rust
All possessions once held dearly in your heart

And the rain shall pour and wash your dreams away
While you sleep in morbid disarray 

All the scavengers 
All the gatherers 
All possessions they shall steal away from you
They will curse again
They will share your pain
All possessions bring about a clouded view 

And the rain shall pour and wash their greed away
While you sleep in morbid disarray 

Friday, February 10, 2017

Pass On Through

If you're sad while on your own
In my heart you have a home
I will keep it warm for you
Just incase you pass on through 
If you find you can't get there
You can find me in a prayer
In these words forever true 
That i wrote down just for you
All the tears you may have cried
I ask that you don't try to hide
Let them fall from skies above
Shower me in your precious love
If you should come down one day
When all angels point this way
I will save these words for you
Just incase you pass on through


I curl up naked... Locked inside your womb
An embryo that can't escape this tomb 
In this silence i can hardly breathe 
Dreams and nightmares cruelly interweave 
I pull the sheets around my strangled throat 
Drown in waves that will not let me float 
How long must i be alive like this?
Yearning for your mesmerizing kiss
I feel your heartbeat lost somewhere in time
Once it shared a rhythm same as mine
But now within this bed that holds no shame
I'm all alone still calling out your name  

Thursday, February 9, 2017


Soon the rage of wrath shall come
Bombs will fall on everyone 
Man shall cease to rule no more
Nothing left to battle for

Seven billion... 
Mass destruction...


Terror hides in corners dark
Orders given always stark
No one safe, no one free
Death is simply destiny

Seven billion... 
Mass destruction...

Of all creation 

When the war of man begins
No one loses, no one wins
Missiles fired, aimed at all
Shall kill the beast and he will fall

Seven billion... 
Mass destruction...


Too late now to turn back time
We balance on this fragile line
Where man shall fire on fellow man
That is our only plan

Seven billion... 
Mass destruction...


Enjoy the Silence

Enjoy the silence...
While it fills the air
Watch a morning sunrise...
While it's still there
See the smiling faces...
Feel a beating heart
Visit different places...
Before they fall apart
Hear the sirens screaming...
As the bombs fall down
Wake up from your dreaming...
Better hit the ground
Let the nightmares wake you...
May you shed your skin
There's a war that's raging...
And it's deep within
So enjoy the silence...
May it fill your ears
Before the coming violence...
And our future fears

The Battle of Catastrophe

We will walk together
We will walk ahead
We shall gather an army
Resurrect the dead

We will build our army
We will build it strong
Knock down the walls 
Pull apart the wrong

Join me.. 
Join me... 
Join me
In the battle of Catastrophe    

We will march together
We will rise above
Call on rains of ruin
From skies above

We will fight together
We will stand our ground
Raise a finger upwards
Bring their empire down

Join me.. 
Join me... 
Join me
In the battle of Catastrophe 

We will dodge the bullets
We will fire at will
Destroy their anger
Operation kill

We will die together 
We will fall as proud 
But our voice remains 
Forever loud

Join me.. 
Join me... 
Join me
In the battle of Catastrophe


Instead of reaching for the light
I'll remain here in the dark
And warm my soul with what i have
If only but a spark
If others choose to call it hell
Desire to be alone
Then welcome to the hell i live
I chose to call it home

Gig (In My Head)

I wish i had the fingers 
To play the songs i hear
To celebrate the fire in me
Before it disappears 
I'd play a gig to no one
If i had the voice to sing
Releasing all the passion 
With a venom vocal sting 
The drumbeat pulsing, bass that hurts
Shrouded in white light
Like Christ before a longing crowd
A sacrilegious rite

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

To Find a Smile

I've been away awhile...

In search to find a missing smile

I walked a lonely path

Where demons dared to laugh

With every twist and turn
A choice to crash or burn
Intent to carry on
Avoid of any harm

A scream from deep within...
Like a high string on a violin 
Although clearly heard
I struggled undeterred 
When the road came to its end 
I had a mountain to ascend 
Every step in getting there
Was one step to repair 

And then as if by chance
I raised my head for the slightest glance
A star fell from the sky
It had no need for an alibi 
As everything must fall
However big, however small
And so i smiled again...
Although this smile was one of pain  

So when i feel it gets too much
That any hope seems out of touch
I think about that tragic star
And how it came to fall so far
It was its course... Its destiny
Much like the one once given me
What ever up it must come down
A smile found in a fallen frown

Rhythm of Cruelty

He banged upon the old tin drum
As if the rain was bound to come
A feeling welled up deep inside 
His spirit wept undignified 
The rhythm of his cruelty 
Removed all hope of dignity
The beating that of inner war
Was not worth fighting for 

On The Brink Again

The thoughts within his head and what the voices said
He's on the brink again
The smile upon his face is in a distant place 
He's gonna sink again
He stares into a mirror where he feels the pain
He better drink again 
Before the laughing starts and he then falls apart 
To oblivion again
He's on the brink again... He better think again
Before he sinks again...  And not return again

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Amy's Sorrow

She convinced herself, no more she could laugh
She laid in the water that filled up the bath
Then she...
Held tight the razor, while clenching her fists
Then sliced at the veins of her lilly white wrists
She stared at the ceiling, the water turned red 
Needing the silence she submerged her head
Her last breathe just bubbles, before she lay still
The water her death bed began to then chill
The phone was a ringin' as if it were fate
A message was left saying he would be late
She'd known of his secret, She'd heard all his lies
When he came home he could look in her eyes
Then he would know...  Of Amy's sorrow
He would know... Of Amy's sorrow

We Are All Broken

*We are all broken...
That's how the light gets in* 
And once the light has reached the soul
The healing can begin
And when the healing seals the cracks
You'll start to feel whole
The light will shine in darkness
To revive a tired soul

- Hemingway*

A Message To My Readers

Hello everybody out there.
Firstly i would like to thank you all for dropping in so often. 
I am never sure if anybody likes my work as i rarely get a comment.
I'm not sure why! 
Maybe i've blocked you all without my knowledge, I'm not very good with technology.
Or maybe you just don't like or understand the things that i write about.
I like to think that from dark times that there is light to be found, hence, i write about
the things that i know about. I have spent much time in those dark places and yet a burst 
of sunshine can change everything while its shining.
I write about my own personal life experiences, whether they be things that inspire me,
frighten me, or maybe something that comes to me in a dream.
If for some reason you have wanted to leave a comment but can't, please email me at 
and i will do my best to answer you.
Thank you once again for all of your support
Kind regards

The Overdose

All the bees inside my head...
Warned me i was nearly dead

Screaming loudly from the numbness deep inside
On the very night they say i should have really died

The lights above me zipping by...
This angel had no wings to fly 

The pills i'd swallowed now the bitter taste of fear
When mixed with sadness they had left me lying here 

And then the darkness closed me in...
It stole the colour from my skin

I slipped into a long and agonizing sleep
A labyrinth of nightmares in a hell forever deep

The whitest sheets upon the bed...
The dyed black hair upon my head

My vacant eyes now opened much to all surprise 
Like a woken night sky just before a new sunrise 

And then the bees had flown away... I'd lived another day... So they say!

Monday, February 6, 2017


This smile that i wear
Hides the hurting inside
Anointing the pain
Of my shallow pride 
These tears that i cry
So hard to conceal 
Exposing the truth 
And the way that i feel

The smile on my face
Much like that of a mask
It covers the cracks 
An incredible task
Disguising my faith
That longs to break free
Underneath this smile 
Hides the real me 

The Sorrow Well (For ANOHNI)

I find myself here standing
Beside the Sorrow Well
Many call it heaven...
While others named it hell
I didn't have a penny...
I guess it's just as well
As even Jesus came here
Where teardrops collect and dwell
It's here he built the very cross 
That he was crucified 
The Sorrow Well had overflowed
From all the tears he cried 
He'd called out loud for mercy 
But nobody had replied 
And so he climbed the rugged hill
Where he there cruelly died 
So now i find myself alone
Beside the Sorrow Well
Nothing more than mortal
With demons to expel 
I too cried out for mercy 
But slipped before i fell
Drowning in the teardrops 
Of the lonely Sorrow Well 

Sunday, February 5, 2017

The Choir of Life

If i should die then let it be spring

When new born babies dance and sing

While earth has lost wolf winters bite

And flowers reach out toward the light 

When the burst of the leaves, dress the naked cold trees 
And the birds in the air, glide on delicate breeze
As the sun dries the rain from the carpeted ground
And the laughter of children, is all around
When the days become long, because nothing is wrong
As the choir of life... Sings my favorite song
The choir of life sings my favorite song... And I'm happy

If i should die then may it be here

Where all lost shadows disappear 

While earth is warm before the night

I will lay me down upon twilight 

With the burst of the leaves, on the naked old trees 
Watching birds in the air, fly on delicate breeze
As the sun dries the dew from the carpeted ground
Where the laughter of children still echoes around
And the day became long, because nothing was wrong
As the choir of life... Sang my favorite song
When the choir of life played my favorite song... I was happy

Suicidal Wind

Will you shower me in rays of light?
Deliver me in peace
Let all the nightmares disappear 
And all this darkness cease 
I've climbed the tallest mountain 
Do you notice me at all?
I beg to you for answers
As I'm prone to often fall 
And in this deathly silence 
Will i hear your angels sing?
This beggar seeks forgiveness 
And he bows before his king
Cleaned shall be my asking 
I'm aware that i have sinned 
I throw my self to mercy
And the suicidal wind