Great Spirit

I thank you Great Spirit

For the warmth of the sun

For the trees that protect us

For the river that run

I thank you for rain

For the fire and the land

I give thanks for the life line

You etched on my hand

I give thanks for the moon 

I give thanks for the earth 

And i thank you for children 

You guide from their birth

I thank you for stars

That will show us the way

And i thank you Great Spirit

For giving this day

Wings

In the place where i was lost

I couldn't find my wings

All i found was darkness 

And so many scary things

My feathers had been missing 

In the shrouding of the night

I found my body grounded

Not a chance of taking flight 

But an angel saw me in the dark

She put a light in me

I opened up my tired eyes 

And found that i could see

My wings were left unbroken 

So i put them on display 

The daylight had returned again....

I stood up... Then flew away

The Wolves (Are Howling Sorrow)

If you leave i beg thee

Untie these binds that shackle me

If you go i ask this

Wipe clean your bitter Judas kiss

But if you stay, remain here

Don't let love run colder still 

And if you stay, refrain here 

Don't feed from me until...

The wolves are howling sorrow

Singing songs in their disguises 

The skins that they all borrow 

Call out as the moon arises 

If you leave i beg thee

Leave the darkness here with me

And if you go i ask you

Leave me strength to pull me through

But if you stay, remain here

Don't let love grow colder still

And if you stay, refrain here

Don't drink from me until...

The wolves are howling sorrow

Singing songs in their disguises 

The skins that they all borrow 

Call out as the moon arises 

If you leave, believe me

All our walls would fall apart

And if you go, i plead thee

Unwind the wire from my heart

But if you say, remain here

Don't let love run colder still

And if you stay, refrain here

Don't drain me, not until...

The wolves are howling sorrow

Singing songs in their disguises 

The skins that they all borrow 

Call out as the moon arises 

The wolves are howling sorrow

Singing songs in their disguises 

The skins that they all borrow 

Call out with... the moons surprises 

Snake

You sidewind like a silky snake

You dance across the floor

You find the sheets and curl up close

And leave me longing more 

You wrap yourself around me

You entice me with a kiss

You whisper words repeatedly 

A soft and gentle hiss 

You rattle every bone in me

You constrict the breath i breathe 

You slip and slide toward the door

Then silently you leave 

DEAD SOUL S

a DEAD SOUL Screams inside of me

i share a name the same as he

DISORDER, ISOLATION, dwells 

like STILL and silent steeple bells 

THE ETERNAL DECADES, CLOSER now

PASSOVER shall come somehow

no HEART AND SOUL or ATMOSPHERE 

just UNKNOWN PLEASURES near

Ian Curtis 1956-1980

The Stranger

You're asking to me to set you free 

I'm not the man you think you see 

I'm someone who will put your life in danger 

I'm begging you, please treat me as a stranger

I beg of you, please treat me as a stranger

You built a boat in which to sail

From splintered wood and rusty nails 

You said the parts were salvaged from a manger 

But I beg of you, don't put your life in danger

Please hear the words now spoken from a stranger

I've shaved my beard and cut my hair 

I can't remember my last prayer

Why would you come to think that I'm your saviour?

I'm nothing but a hobo and a stranger 

I am nothing but a passerby and stranger  

I travel on this lonely road 

No baggage but a heavy load

If i had money i would place a wager

You'd never guess how many need a saviour?

And i'd bet my life I really am a stranger

So I'm asking you to set you free 

I thank you for your company 

I must be on my way, have a good day sir

Just pass me by as though i were a stranger 

Just pass me by and say you met a stranger

The Lone Thrush

A thrush sat in a dying tree 

Singing songs for all to hear

It's song such perfect harmony 

As crystal as the day was clear

The other birds all startled spoke

"Why sing in such a dreary tree?"

The thrush returned his answer

"So someone will notice me"

Pretty Little Head

I did not think to ask you your name

It seemed we'd known each other long

I thought i'd seen that pretty little head  

It's not often that i am proved wrong

Didn't we once sail the seas on a clipper ship?

Or was that a memory i once caused to sink 

Maybe it was in some seedy motel room

If you'd just give me a moment to think!

I seem to remember those cherry red lips 

Although lines from your years i've not noticed before

You wear them so well with such elegant grace

If you don't mind me saying, you would suit a few more 

Weren't we beggars awhile in years distant past?

Wearing rags that dressed only our shivers at night 

Where all that we had was nothing but us

And we bathed in day under anything light

Maybe it was Eden where i first saw your face!

Was it there that i tasted your warm tender kiss?

You were the fruit that was strictly forbidden 

But one that i could not resist 

I guess that my memory just isn't that good

And i suppose that all past is now slipping away

But i know you from somewhere! Do you mind if i ask?

What name are you using today?

Christ White Light

I stand here in your Christ white light

Surrounded by the pitch of night

A second coming yet unseen 

To cleanse my sins and wipe me clean

Within this petrifying light

I feel the heat of deeper night

Eternal darkness kissing me

With such desire, so passively 

If i should step out from your light

And give myself to thee tonight 

Would there be any space for me?

To delve into infinity 

Without a light i cannot shine 

Or fill this hollow that is mine 

I wait upon your mercy call

Before i step and fall  

Secret Cabaret

In this secret cabaret 

Sheets in twisted disarray 

Hair disheveled, skin unclean 

The mirrors misted ghostly sheen 

Amidst this den of tortured lies

Still echoing perverted cries 

Bodies stretched now lying still

Contented with unholy fill 

Sweat drips cold on hot licked flesh 

The sins which neither shall confess 

Heartbeats simmer, silence loud 

No love in here allowed 

In the shadows candles dance 

Ignited by a spirit trance 

One which holds no bounds of sleep

Enticing those to fall in deep

In an act of mortal whim 

Where every bent and splintered limb

Shall blindly fall undignified  

And keep their shame inside 

Armageddon

Armageddon...

Is on its way

Maybe tomorrow 

Who's to say? 

Are you ready?

Now don't pretend

Your time is coming

Embrace your end

Armageddon...

Open your eyes 

See the blood drenched wastelands

Where the dead shall rise

Nowhere to run to 

No place to hide 

You shall drink your worst fears 

In the tears you cried 

Armageddon...

Is about to fall

When the lights go out 

Hell shall welcome all

When your nerves start twitching 

And your life expires   

We will burn forever 

In eternal fires 

Epitomize

What of all i've hated?

Of all that i've despised!

Everything i've frowned upon

Should i epitomize!

To be the vulture swooping down 

Intent to find his fill

No matter then the enemy 

Or who i choose to kill

I'd hang upon a splintered cross

I'd be the lone wolfs howl

Or just content as shadow

In the darkness where i'd prowl 

You, Of All Teachers

I once met a butcher 

Who was killing a lamb 

I said "What gives you the right to take innocent life?"

He said "You my friend, you would not understand

You've not known of the death that i take with this knife

If you like, i will show you, i will teach you my trade

Then you will honestly know how a murder is made"

I came to a dealer

Who was selling his crack

I said "Why do you paint all these lost souls in black?"

He said "Follow me, if you must know the truth

You will see that they need me, I'll give you the proof

And if you like, once i've shown you, i will teach you my trade

You can resurrect demons from the hell i have made"

I saw a politician 

And i looked in his eyes

I said "How can you spread such deceit with your lies?"

He said "You are but one in a score i can't fool

But the others i master, of them i can rule!

If you listen, i'll show you, i shall teach you my trade

You can help correct errors in judgements i've made"

I bumped into God 

And i asked him of this

"You once gave your son to a traitors cold kiss

Of all of the teachers in which i have learned

It is you that i find myself mostly concerned 

You watched over killings, yet don't seem to care

And left so many lives in such pain and despair"

God he just sighed "Shall i teach you my trade?

My angel, my devil, the man i once made"

I Will Hold You (Till The Morning Comes)

I... Know you understand

That i need your hand

Just to get me there

You... Are that place called love

And the one true thing...

That I'm certain of 

In the night

That's when i need you

In the night

I'll guarantee you

Through the night

I will hold you... till the morning comes 

You... Like an unlocked door

Bring me back for more

I'd like to thank you babe

I... Know you care for me 

But you let me go...

Never to need a key

Because...

In the night

That's when i need you

In the night

I'll guarantee you

Through the night

I will hold you... till the morning comes 

We... We are much the same

Had our share of pain

But i'd never hurt you

So... When the night skies fall

You can count on me... I will hear you call

In the night

You know that i need you

In the night

I'll guarantee you

Through the night

I will hold you... till the morning comes 

In the night

That's when i need you

In the night

I'll guarantee you

Through the night

I will hold you... till the morning comes 

The Final Laugh

I'll not forget this battle

You were winning for a while

But i required the final laugh

And cut myself a smile 

So now you'll never beat me

No matter how hard you try

I'll still be smiling, even if...

You cause your son to cry

Of All The Girls

Of all the girls i've known before 

It's you the one i thought of 

I saw your eyes and knew... 

that this is what it's like to be in love

I dreamed about you many times 

I pulled you from the water 

And held you in my arms then cried...
"Thank god it's me that caught ya!"

You were drifting to another place

A land beyond the calling sea

Far enough to take you...

where you"d never be alone with me 

I woke to find you lying here

Naked at my side

I sat and stroked your pretty hair

Before i gently cried 

Because my dreaming was so real

Was it thoughts that you were feeling?

A secret locked away inside 

That you had been concealing 

I could never love another 

You are all i ever wished for 

And if truth be known

My wish came true and you were so much more...

than any gift that's ever given 

I often compliment the angels 

Who surely placed you here with me

Surrounding you in candles 

That burn within the midnight hour

With ghosts upon the ceiling 

Watching every move you make

Incase you thought of leaving 

But you open up your tired eyes 

Just like the day that's dawning 

And roll into my loving arms 

Where you stay until the morning 

I wake and smell the coffee 

That she pours me everyday

And all my fears and worries... drift away  

Consider a Moment

If i may ask you'll consider a moment to stay for awhile 

I will promise you truth from a heart that reflects with a smile

I cannot move mountains but truth is, i've not even tried! 

If i said that i had then you'd know from the start i had lied 

I've not parted an ocean, but who in their right mind would say?

I could give it a go if you'll consider that moment to stay

Maybe the stars are the jewels that you'd like me to reach!

We could find them in pools on the rocks if we searched on the beach  

I may not have money but love in abundance i'd give

You might find that's all that a lifetime in love needs to live 

And all that i ask is you'll sleep in my arms with that smile

And consider that moment and hopefully stay here awhile 

Pills

I cannot stop this trembling 

As I walk upon soft clouds

The light has taken everything

That darkness often shrouds 

My mind no longer mine it seems

Confusion settling in 

I think about what might have been 

Without the pills within 

If all the hurt i locked away

Pours free from me at last

Then what of years i've wasted

That are now a distant past 

Mourning Light

Seek the glow of morning light

Where angels wings may take to flight 

No demons here to bark or bite 

Until the falling of the night

Avoid the glint of mourning light

The silent guild forever bright

Keeping dusk and dawn at bay 

To drag your soul away

Broken

When the breakdown finally found him

Violent storms had swelled in size

Tear duct dams then overflowed 

And freed themselves from desperate eyes 

The people saw this man as strong

His nature not to fall apart

But they'd not seen the fractured pump

That crumbled in his heart

To them his worries never mattered

He would pull himself on through

Unbeknown to other eyes 

His ship was sinking in the blue

And in his torment very dark

He turned his ship from distant docks

Which only steered his sorry soul 

To crash upon the rocks 

Winters Kiss

In the cold of winter

I reach to find your hand

It's all that i can comprehend 

I hope you understand

This ladder leads to heaven

If i pass the broken rungs 

My head all filled with pieces 

Of our broken hearted songs 

I long for your enchanting kiss

In which i love to drown 

But heaven is a long way up

And hell just weighs me down 

Vacant Eyes

Am i the something you kept secret?

Am i the secret that you hide?

Am i a friend or more a hindrance? 

And a burden deep inside

Am i not worthy of your heart?

Just a name you criticize  

I can't break all those thoughts apart

Within your vacant eyes  

Am i the blood that pours from your wrists?

Am i the pain you talk about?

Am i the traitor that you sometimes kissed?

Yet never bragged about

Am i the nothing you made me to be?

Or just a thing that you despise!

I cannot pull that wall apart

Within your vacant eyes 

Stop The Clock

Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick

Someone better stop the clock and better do it quick

All our dreams of yesterday are now a distant past 

The clocks that hang upon our walls are ticking much too fast

Tock tick tock tick tock tick tock

I wonder if this hammer will delay this fucking clock?

It's taking so much life and if i cannot stop it now

Then it will steal everything a lifetime will allow

Falling Apart

I hope that my feelings will free me someday

And you hear the things I've been longing to say

If while I'm above you my voice can be heard

You might care to listen, if for only one word 

The secrets i tell you may come out all wrong

No matter how heartfelt, forgive then my tongue 

For you hold the answers I'm needing to hear

Yet questions unanswered i might come to fear

To say that i LOVE you could scare you away

And you might be gone in the light of that day

Leaving me here with a broken down heart

Blatantly falling apart

All Possessions

Only spirits rise

When the body dies

All possessions mean nothing at all

In the carcass, flies

Maggots eat what dies 

All possessions creep before they start to crawl  

And the rain shall pour and wash all sins away

While your sleep in morbid disarray 

Only time will tell

How your body fell

All possessions left to fall and break apart

They will gather dust

They will turn to rust

All possessions once held dearly in your heart

And the rain shall pour and wash your dreams away

While you sleep in morbid disarray 

All the scavengers 

All the gatherers 

All possessions they shall steal away from you

They will curse again

They will share your pain

All possessions bring about a clouded view 

And the rain shall pour and wash their greed away

While you sleep in morbid disarray 

Pass On Through

If you're sad while on your own

In my heart you have a home

I will keep it warm for you

Just incase you pass on through 

If you find you can't get there

You can find me in a prayer

In these words forever true 

That i wrote down just for you

All the tears you may have cried

I ask that you don't try to hide

Let them fall from skies above

Shower me in your precious love

If you should come down one day

When all angels point this way

I will save these words for you

Just incase you pass on through

Lost

I curl up naked... Locked inside your womb

An embryo that can't escape this tomb 

In this silence i can hardly breathe 

Dreams and nightmares cruelly interweave 

I pull the sheets around my strangled throat 

Drown in waves that will not let me float 

How long must i be alive like this?

Yearning for your mesmerizing kiss

I feel your heartbeat lost somewhere in time

Once it shared a rhythm same as mine

But now within this bed that holds no shame

I'm all alone still calling out your name  

Oblivion

Soon the rage of wrath shall come

Bombs will fall on everyone 

Man shall cease to rule no more

Nothing left to battle for

Population...

Seven billion... 

Mass destruction...

OBLIVION! OBLIVION! 

Damnation...

Complication...

Decapitation...

OBLIVION! OBLIVION! 

Terror hides in corners dark

Orders given always stark

No one safe, no one free

Death is simply destiny

Population...

Seven billion... 

Mass destruction...

OBLIVION! OBLIVION! 

Mutilation...

Of all creation 

Violation...

OBLIVION! OBLIVION! 

When the war of man begins

No one loses, no one wins

Missiles fired, aimed at all

Shall kill the beast and he will fall

Population...

Seven billion... 

Mass destruction...

OBLIVION! OBLIVION!  

Dictation... 

Abomination...

Annihilation...

OBLIVION! OBLIVION!

Too late now to turn back time

We balance on this fragile line

Where man shall fire on fellow man

That is our only plan

Population...

Seven billion... 

Mass destruction...

OBLIVION! OBLIVION!  

Manipulation....

Frustration...

Devastation... 

OBLIVION! OBLIVION!

Enjoy the Silence

Enjoy the silence...

While it fills the air

Watch a morning sunrise...

While it's still there

See the smiling faces...

Feel a beating heart

Visit different places...

Before they fall apart

Hear the sirens screaming...

As the bombs fall down

Wake up from your dreaming...

Better hit the ground

Let the nightmares wake you...

May you shed your skin

There's a war that's raging...

And it's deep within

So enjoy the silence...

May it fill your ears

Before the coming violence...

And our future fears

The Battle of Catastrophe

We will walk together

We will walk ahead

We shall gather an army

Resurrect the dead

We will build our army

We will build it strong

Knock down the walls 

Pull apart the wrong

Join me.. 

Join me... 

Join me

In the battle of Catastrophe    

We will march together

We will rise above

Call on rains of ruin

From skies above

We will fight together

We will stand our ground

Raise a finger upwards

Bring their empire down

Join me.. 

Join me... 

Join me

In the battle of Catastrophe 

We will dodge the bullets

We will fire at will

Destroy their anger

Operation kill

We will die together 

We will fall as proud 

But our voice remains 

Forever loud

Join me.. 

Join me... 

Join me

In the battle of Catastrophe

Home

Instead of reaching for the light

I'll remain here in the dark

And warm my soul with what i have

If only but a spark

If others choose to call it hell

Desire to be alone

Then welcome to the hell i live

I chose to call it home

Gig (In My Head)

I wish i had the fingers 

To play the songs i hear

To celebrate the fire in me

Before it disappears 

I'd play a gig to no one

If i had the voice to sing

Releasing all the passion 

With a venom vocal sting 

The drumbeat pulsing, bass that hurts

Shrouded in white light

Like Christ before a longing crowd

A sacrilegious rite

To Find a Smile

I've been away awhile...

In search to find a missing smile

I walked a lonely path

Where demons dared to laugh

With every twist and turn

A choice to crash or burn

Intent to carry on

Avoid of any harm

A scream from deep within...

Like a high string on a violin 

Although clearly heard

I struggled undeterred 

When the road came to its end 

I had a mountain to ascend 

Every step in getting there

Was one step to repair 

And then as if by chance

I raised my head for the slightest glance

A star fell from the sky

It had no need for an alibi 

As everything must fall

However big, however small

And so i smiled again...

Although this smile was one of pain  

So when i feel it gets too much
That any hope seems out of touch
I think about that tragic star
And how it came to fall so far
It was its course... Its destiny
Much like the one once given me
What ever up it must come down
A smile found in a fallen frown

Rhythm of Cruelty

He banged upon the old tin drum

As if the rain was bound to come

A feeling welled up deep inside 

His spirit wept undignified 

The rhythm of his cruelty 

Removed all hope of dignity

The beating that of inner war

Was not worth fighting for 

On The Brink Again

The thoughts within his head and what the voices said

He's on the brink again

The smile upon his face is in a distant place 

He's gonna sink again

He stares into a mirror where he feels the pain

He better drink again 

Before the laughing starts and he then falls apart 

To oblivion again

He's on the brink again... He better think again

Before he sinks again...  And not return again

Amy's Sorrow

She convinced herself, no more she could laugh

She laid in the water that filled up the bath

Then she...

Held tight the razor, while clenching her fists

Then sliced at the veins of her lilly white wrists

She stared at the ceiling, the water turned red 

Needing the silence she submerged her head

Her last breathe just bubbles, before she lay still

The water her death bed began to then chill

The phone was a ringin' as if it were fate

A message was left saying he would be late

She'd known of his secret, She'd heard all his lies

When he came home he could look in her eyes

Then he would know...  Of Amy's sorrow
He would know... Of Amy's sorrow

We Are All Broken

*We are all broken...

That's how the light gets in* 

And once the light has reached the soul

The healing can begin

And when the healing seals the cracks

You'll start to feel whole

The light will shine in darkness

To revive a tired soul

- Hemingway*

A Message To My Readers

Hello everybody out there.

Firstly i would like to thank you all for dropping in so often. 

I am never sure if anybody likes my work as i rarely get a comment.

I'm not sure why! 

Maybe i've blocked you all without my knowledge, I'm not very good with technology.

Or maybe you just don't like or understand the things that i write about.

I like to think that from dark times that there is light to be found, hence, i write about

the things that i know about. I have spent much time in those dark places and yet a burst 

of sunshine can change everything while its shining.

I write about my own personal life experiences, whether they be things that inspire me,

frighten me, or maybe something that comes to me in a dream.

If for some reason you have wanted to leave a comment but can't, please email me at marshy@cwgsy.net 

and i will do my best to answer you.

Thank you once again for all of your support

Kind regards

Ian

The Overdose

All the bees inside my head...

Warned me i was nearly dead

Screaming loudly from the numbness deep inside

On the very night they say i should have really died

The lights above me zipping by...

This angel had no wings to fly 

The pills i'd swallowed now the bitter taste of fear

When mixed with sadness they had left me lying here 

And then the darkness closed me in...

It stole the colour from my skin

I slipped into a long and agonizing sleep

A labyrinth of nightmares in a hell forever deep

The whitest sheets upon the bed...

The dyed black hair upon my head

My vacant eyes now opened much to all surprise 

Like a woken night sky just before a new sunrise 

And then the bees had flown away... I'd lived another day... So they say!

Mask

This smile that i wear

Hides the hurting inside

Anointing the pain

Of my shallow pride 

These tears that i cry

So hard to conceal 

Exposing the truth 

And the way that i feel

The smile on my face

Much like that of a mask

It covers the cracks 

An incredible task

Disguising my faith

That longs to break free

Underneath this smile 

Hides the real me 

The Sorrow Well (For ANOHNI)

I find myself here standing

Beside the Sorrow Well

Many call it heaven...

While others named it hell

I didn't have a penny...

I guess it's just as well

As even Jesus came here

Where teardrops collect and dwell

It's here he built the very cross 

That he was crucified 

The Sorrow Well had overflowed

From all the tears he cried 

He'd called out loud for mercy 

But nobody had replied 

And so he climbed the rugged hill

Where he there cruelly died 

So now i find myself alone

Beside the Sorrow Well

Nothing more than mortal

With demons to expel 

I too cried out for mercy 

But slipped before i fell

Drowning in the teardrops 

Of the lonely Sorrow Well 

The Choir of Life

If i should die then let it be spring

When new born babies dance and sing

While earth has lost wolf winters bite

And flowers reach out toward the light 

When the burst of the leaves, dress the naked cold trees 

And the birds in the air, glide on delicate breeze

As the sun dries the rain from the carpeted ground

And the laughter of children, is all around

When the days become long, because nothing is wrong

As the choir of life... Sings my favorite song

The choir of life sings my favorite song... And I'm happy

If i should die then may it be here

Where all lost shadows disappear 

While earth is warm before the night

I will lay me down upon twilight 

With the burst of the leaves, on the naked old trees 

Watching birds in the air, fly on delicate breeze

As the sun dries the dew from the carpeted ground

Where the laughter of children still echoes around

And the day became long, because nothing was wrong

As the choir of life... Sang my favorite song

When the choir of life played my favorite song... I was happy

Suicidal Wind

Will you shower me in rays of light?

Deliver me in peace

Let all the nightmares disappear 

And all this darkness cease 

I've climbed the tallest mountain 

Do you notice me at all?

I beg to you for answers

As I'm prone to often fall 

And in this deathly silence 

Will i hear your angels sing?

This beggar seeks forgiveness 

And he bows before his king

Cleaned shall be my asking 

I'm aware that i have sinned 

I throw my self to mercy

And the suicidal wind