Family

Fuck it... I don't really care

You've never been here and you never were there

I take it you think that you're better than me

But at least I broke out and I set myself free

It seems that I'm nothing, not even a brother

We don't even know what we mean to each other

So I'll just carry on with my journey alone

As I'm used to this life on my own 

My Brightest Star

You always do amaze me

No matter from how far

Whatever be the distance

I turn and there you are

When every other falls behind

It's you remaining here

You are the brightest of my stars

Diminishing my fear

You shine within my darkest hours

A candle burning bright

You are my hope when all seems lost

My star. My love. My light 

The Veil

 There is only a veil between us 

Yet it keeps us a whole world apart

I've been so close that i've sensed your tears

Felt the sorrow within your heart

I've longed to be reunited 

For this veil to gracefully fall

Then you will find that i never left

And I wasn't that far at all 

Twelve Days Of Christmas

 On the twelfth day of Christmas 

The sky was turning black

The winter wind began to blow

Its chill upon my back

On the eleventh day of Christmas 

I watched some children play

The snow they threw while laughing

Made a winter scene clique

On the tenth day of Christmas 

A beggar raised his hand

I gave a word of sympathy 

He didn't understand

On the ninth day of Christmas 

A choir sang aloud

But no one even listened

They were lost within the crowd

On the eighth day of Christmas

The bells began to chime

Celebrating something

From a long forgotten time

On the seventh day of Christmas

The shops were nearly clear

While many would awake with gifts

Some would wake with fear

On the sixth day of Christmas 

The bombs began to fall

Beneath the pile of rubble 

Was a frightened child's call

On the fifth day of Christmas

While gun shots filled the air

Others wrapped their presents 

Not a thought and not a care

On the fourth day of Christmas

The wine began to pour

While blood flowed freely somewhere else

In someone else's war

On the third day of Christmas 

A star hung in the sky

But no one even noticed 

What it came to signify 

On the second day of Christmas

While many mourned their dead

Crackers pulled, exploded

And the corny jokes were read

On the first day of Christmas 

The celebration starts

So... 

Before you fill your stomachs 

Take the time to fill your hearts 

One To All

If i could write one thing that had meaning
And if just one single person took the time
So from that one, who may turn to another
Telling this dream that had started as mine
Maybe the words of another could go further
All that it takes is someone to listen in
Spreading the love that had come from stranger
Then peace may at last soon begin
And from a thought, we could all come together
We could be one, and isn't that hard to do
All that it takes, is a friend and believer
And that could be them. That could be us. That could be me... And you

Lucy's Breakdown

A woman by the name of Lucy looked within the mirror, that was cracked from many punches from her scarred and shaking fist.
The cracks themselves reminded her of arteries that she had sought, but somehow every razor cut had gone astray and missed.
She gazed into her eyes and it had come as no surprise, to find mascara trails that smudged her face from bitter fallen tears.
And once again she stood there, with another coming breakdown. And this mirror was the only place where she could face her fears.
A smiled came from nowhere, and it brought with it an overwhelming urge to fall apart and let the darkness in again.
Lucy held her head in hands, but nothing now could stop her as she felt herself disintegrate within her world of pain.

Touch

My fingertips upon your neck will let you know I'm here

Bringing only comfort and a sign to never fear

Whenever you might call me I shall not be far away

As I will be beside you through the night and through the day 

One Little Blow

I feel so tired I just want to die

Close shut my eyes... Not a word of goodbye

Just drift away quietly, let everything go

Like dandelion fairies with one little blow

The light that I had it now struggles to shine

And darkness appears in the eyes that are mine

This flickering candle shall snuff out its glow

And my life will be over with one little blow  

Exit

When my body works no more

Please say a little prayer for me

Then up the window wide

And set my spirit free 

Spirit Woman

I placed myself in front of her...

And looked at her and fell in love as I had done a million times for sure

I watched her as she sat... and I was mesmerised 

But then again...

So scared to see another side that I'd not seen before

She slipped into a calming trance

No drug fuelled beat or need to dance 

Just supple change in structure bringing spirit to her face

Contortion overwhelming, now a stranger sat before me 

Where the woman I adore had been within that very place

His breathing from her lips rolled deep

He'd woken from his passing sleep

His door had been unlocked and she had been the spirits key

I asked her "Please come back" and soon she opened up her eyes

Before returning to the woman who had proved herself to me 

The Scapegoat

I came here as a healer, yet you wouldn't let me heal

I had a hope of teaching you a different way to feel

You never understood me 

So you didn't understand 

That my coming here was something that was planned 

If only you had listened, when I asked you "Follow me"

In places you were lost, you could have never been more free

And when the darkness gathered

You were left there all alone

My coming here was meant to bring you home

And even now I've passed away, and time has passed you by

You never wondered who I was, or why I had to die!

Although I never mattered

I was always standing near

And if you choose to find me... I am here!

Little Earth Prayer

I lay down and wait........ Until not a sound

Placing my face on the cold of the ground

Then whisper my feelings to earth and below

My words sink deep...

Absorbing my chant...

Downward and downward these little words go

They echo in caverns 

Repeating like drips

The love in the words that had spilled from my lips

Now seeping through hollows 

To heal and repair

Reciting my little earth prayer 

Broken Children

My old man he wasn't much

But had the loudest laugh in town

Him a father? Not as such 

He'd turn my whole world upside down

His eyes like mine the colour blue

Were passed to him and then to me

But on my birth, or my debut 

A different world I'd see

The horrors that would come my way

I'd store them somewhere deep inside

But on occasions, like a play

They did not want to hide

And in my nightmares standing there

The very ghoul that I would fear

Would laugh out loud without a care

And whisper in my ear

"Hush little baby don't you cry

Nobody cares if you live or die"

Then laughter fills the room with dread

The room of fear within my head

The sheets I'd pull around me tight

While through the darkness shadows crept 

No comfort in the black of night

Where broken children slept

I Wonder If She'll Miss Me Come Tomorrow?

I wonder if she'll miss me come tomorrow?

Or feel the kiss I left her, with a sigh

I guess she'll never know, that when I quietly closed the door

I wiped away a teardrop from my eye

I know that she'll be strong, and she'll get over me

She'd never let her friends know of her pain

She'll smile and just pretend I'd never mattered

I'm hoping that she'll fall in love again

I'd told her from the start that I'd be leaving

That I'm not the kind to stick around too long

I warned her that my heart was not for loving 

Yet she came so close to prove my heart was wrong 

In years to come, I hope she might forgive me

And understand she nearly changed my mind

And with a smile she may remember sweetly

That in leaving I was only being kind 

Un-Repaired

No monster came to me at night

No scary creature called my name

Yet whispers from my nightmare world

Still speak a child's shame

When darkness covered everything 

Including who I came to fear

The boogieman with breath unclean

Seemed somehow very near

The gentle touch from fingers strong 

Remain upon my adult skin

The scars he left may not be seen 

But still they bleed within

So who I am I cannot like

As in the mirror him I see

The eyes that looked upon his child

Won't ever set me free

Heaven and Woman Combined

There she was, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen

Maybe she was some kind of fantasy that I'd conjured up in a dream 

It seemed that everything that surrounded her, had no right to be there

Even the flowers that scented the breeze were not able to touch or compare 

Her smile was a crescent. Her eyes were azure, against skin that was whiter than snow

(And as pure)

She was perfectly fragile 

Uniquely refined 

She was heaven and woman combined 

Mesmerised

When I look at her I'm mesmerised 

I fall into her deep pool eyes

And swim towards her very soul

Where choirs sing and church bells toll

Her breath is like the morning air

Silk cascades through her Raven hair

The beat that plays within her heart

Her masterpiece... My work of art

And on her lips, a lovers kiss

No ocean could compare with this

I'm dragged toward her calmer shore

To overflow once more 

Seeds

A seed becomes a sapling, then transform into a tree
A baby once became a boy, that boy grew into me
Arms and branches both have reached towards a brighter sky
It seems a tree in many ways is much the same as I

A Kiss Farewell

"I'll not come to your room" she said

"I'll not come through your door

I'll not be made a fool again

Or treated like a whore"

Said I "But I do love you and if you should come to me

I'll hold you tightly in my arms and treat you tenderly"

"I'll not lay in your bed" said she

"I shall not comfort thee

No longer will I wake with you

Alone then you shall be"

Said I "But in the morning I shall whisper in your ear

And tell you all the lovely things that you have longed to hear"

"I'll not believe a word" she said 

"You'll use me as before

And come the morning with the sun 

Not want me anymore"

Said I "Tomorrow my ship sails and I may not return

Of all the women left behind it's you that I shall yearn"

"I'll say farewell to you" said she

And leave you with this kiss

So over seas and under stars 

You can then reminisce"

The Marriage

I asked her if she'd marry me

She said "I have nothing to lose

My body wears these tattered clothes

My feet walk in these broken shoes"

Said I "If you should say I do

I'll give my life, my very heart"

Said she "I'll love as best I can

At least till death tears us apart"

She married me and as my wife

She gave me children, two in all

Our daughter she was born one spring

Our son arrived in fall 

They were our joy and as they grew

I looked at her with some surprise

As she was gazing back at me

With teardrops in her eyes

I asked her "Have I pleased you?

Since the day you said you'd be my wife

You've never said you love me

'Though we've shared a lovely life"

Said she "I once had nothing

And no money ever came our way

But you gave what you promised

And I'll not regret that day"

When years had passed and death was near

We lay upon our wedding bed

She called me closer, whispered

And her final words were said

"I've loved you from our very start

It took this long to realise 

That when death does tear us apart

True love never dies"

I kissed her as she passed away

Her dying breath she'd left with me

I told her "Don't go too far now

I'll soon be there with thee"

Everyday from then and on

I felt her standing at my side

My true love never far away

Embraced me when I died

Pretty Little Kate

'Twas on the day her mother died that something hidden deep inside

Would alter everything that had been pretty little Kate

No more then was the blonde haired girl, who was her mothers world

She'd transformed into black to match the colour of her hate 

At night she'd take a razor blade and grip with fingers good and tight

And drag it over tender skin upon concealed arms

It wasn't pain she sort but rather anything that eased her thoughts

And blood was what it took to keep her tortured spirit calm

The first cut wasn't deep enough, she pressed a little harder 

But not enough to chip the bone or nerves to aggravate 

When the blood came pouring it released the inner demons 

That dwelled inside the complex world of pretty little Kate

The bloody cross upon her, reminded her of Sunday's 

She slashed again across the cross, so crossing out the cross

The razor blade fell to the floor, the blood began to flow some more

And she decided that enough was spilled to compensate her loss

Every night would be the same; she'd walk the dirty darker streets

Where men would come with money and to spread unknown disease 

She'd risk her life in alleyways with strangers looking down on her

Many times she'd thought to bite whist down upon her knees

On her journey home where she would walk the streets alone 

The hours of her painful day would always finish late

No one waited home for her and no one even cared 

As she was not the girl who once was known as pretty little Kate

Rescue Me

You can come into my dreams dear

You may come search my darker rooms 

You and me... We shall be

Forever in these vast catacombs 

Call my name

I hide no shame

Seek me out and please try to find

Rescue me

From this tragedy 

I'm lost and hopelessly blind

Bring with you a sword dear 

Protect me from the demons you may see

Don't run away... Or they'll surely stay 

For the rest of eternity 

Save your prayer 

Just find me there

Reach into the darkness and please take my hand 

Rescue me

From this agony 

I'm lost and taken all I can stand

Strike yourself a light dear

Hold it high so that I might see

Burn for me. Eternally 

Only you can set me free 

In the dark

You are the spark

The light that can lead me away

Rescue me

From this catastrophe 

Turn my nightmares into our day 

An Alternative Ending

She walked across the floor towards the freedom of the door 

With flashbacks of his face before she'd hit him on the head

Upon the floor the blood had dried. No sorrow, she'd not even cried

In fact she gave a smile when she had seen the bastard dead

She breathed in stale cigarettes; stubbed out in many ashtrays

Reminding her of breath that he had spat out in her face

Her chosen weapon by his side, his skull with which it did collide

Was now a simple iron that she put back in its place

She looked at him a moment and she tried hard to remember 

So long ago she'd loved this vile thing upon the floor

The man who lay there quite with no threats to steal her confidence 

Would not now hold her back as she walked freely out the door

An Ending

She moved just like a glazier set adrift on freezing water

She had much to tell and yet no words came dripping from her tongue 

It seemed her heart had melted, 'though until this very moment

She was not prepared to live a life where she did not belong 

I stood before her, smiled, as if her tears had never mattered 

Standing on the drops that soaked the linoleum floor 

I built a barricade of sorts, my body was a wall

In which it's structure stood between her and the freedom of the door

I took her by the wrist, I felt her tremble and resist

Before I held her hand upon my heart so she could feel my fear

I found it hard to breathe but found it harder to believe 

That we had lived so long within this atmosphere  

I longed for her to kiss me but her head just turned away

As though I wasn't even worthy anymore 

This barricade fell easily with just a single glance 

I moved aside and sadly watched her as she flowed out of the door

Hidden

If only I could show you all the things you cannot see
Like scars that I have hidden on the darker side of me
The cuts that tell a story of a life you do not know
Where only in a mirror is my tragedy on show
I wonder would you want me if you saw the real truth?
The razor tracks that I disguise that hold the very proof
From when I needed only pain to help me through a day
The hurt that dwells inside me never seems to go away
And if I let you closer would you understand my pain
Or would you break what others broke in pieces once again?
I wonder would you turn your back and simply disappear?
As that is what I've grown to dread and most of all I fear

The Clown

The broken hearted love sick clown

Wore his smile upside down

The audience all laughed at him

Although he knew not why!

He looked upon the happy crowd

And shouted out his thoughts aloud

"I cannot take this pain much more...

And I just want to die!"

He climbed the ladder high... then higher

Put a foot upon the wire

Stumbled out and walked the tightrope 

Looking down on all

The audience they stared

Upon the clown who had prepared

To stop the laughter and the heartache with his fall

Friends

Friends are just ghosts from a moment in time

Part of this life (or this pantomime) 

Some only "Bit Parts" that breeze on through

Others through storms are still loyal and true

Years are the tests for the ones who were real

Those with a feeling of how you might feel

Others just cling to a desperate past

From a time within time not intended to last

When friends who were friends are not friends anymore

It shows that they weren't friends before 

In Spirit

The white man came to our land

He would not leave us alone

We prayed but he demanded

But he terrorised our home

Our buffalo he slaughtered 

Our trees he brought to ground

No singing filled these meadows 

Just the gun fires deafening sound

And the white man he grew stronger

With his guns he won, says he!

He put our land in shackles 

This land no longer free

So our blood enriched these soils

And our spirits filled the air

The White man says he killed us

Yet we are forever there 

A Different View

Sometimes, you just have to turn on it. Raise the finger... Not give a shit. Do whatever the "normal" don't. Go wherever the others won't. If you feel like you don't belong, then take a chance on the labelled "Wrong" As what's bad for them may be right for you... So try out a different view

Avalokiteśvara

Avalokiteśvara. Ten worlds high. Watching and listening from a far distant sky. Prayers that are worthy shall be answered with love. As the god of compassion looks down from above