Hiding In There (For my brother Francis)

I can see by your eyes that you're broken and tired 

No longer the man that i often admired 

Your hair is disheveled, your skin is unclean 

And you're the loneliest creature that i've ever seen 

You stare at the walls and you don't say a word 

The screaming inside you forever unheard 

The fear that enshrines you and locks you away 

Have turned you to stranger in your disarray 

Brother, dear brother, I'm here don't you see?

Avoid all your demons and try to break free 

Forget all the wrongs that you did in the past 

You were never the first and you won't be the last

In this sterile room you will die all alone

No family, no children, just you on your own 

With no one to comfort and show you they care

For the man who is hiding in there 

I Never Knew You...

I never knew you...

I've not seen your face before

I am pretty good with faces 

And i think I'm pretty sure

I never called you as a friend 

And unlike you i won't pretend 

I just don't need you in my life

I just don't need you, in my life 

You say you knew me...

Said we'd often hang around 

Said that we were pretty crazy!

We were always trouble bound 

You say you used to call me friend 

But i cannot comprehend 

As i don't need you in my life

I just don't need you, in my life 

I never knew you... 

I don't care what you might say

Find somebody else to cling to

Turn around and go away 

I never called you as a friend 

And unlike you i won't pretend 

As I don't need you in my life

No i don't need you in my life

I just don't need you, in my life  

Where Did You Go?

I know where you went to, but where did you go?

I guess if you told me, i'd still never know

Your nightmares continue, they'll always remain 

And although you're not bleeding, you still feel the pain

Who's war did you fight in? I'm really not sure

Did you honestly feel this was worth fighting for?

The enemy out there, were so much like you

They trembled inside much the same as you do

The bullets that dodged you, all carried your name

But the finger on trigger was not one of blame

Your government called you, and you chose to run 

No sane man would jump, and then pick up a gun 

In fields you remain, in the pits full of mud

You're drenched to the skin from the enemies blood 

No matter how hard you might scrub it away 

It will always return by the end of the day 

The war is now over, but never for you

You still clean the mud from the soles of your shoe

And while you lay dreaming, beware of the night 

As you'll never escape from the enemies sight

The scars that you carry, like scores on the skin 

Are maps from the battles you never did win 

This killing and dying makes no sense to me

A man that can kill he will never be free

I know where you went to, but where did you go?

I guess if you told me, i'd still never know

As war is for heroes who never return 

And it's something i don't have the courage to learn  

This Inferno

Stoke the fire...

Let the flames jump, higher and higher 

This inferno... It must be seen 

Fuel it if it takes a can of gasoline 

It must be burning...

Burning brightly... Higher and higher 

It must be burning...

Don't let rain put out your fire

Turn it up...

Cinders won't ignite the soul

Turn it up...

Stack the wood and burn the coal 

This inferno, it will be seen 

Turn it up and fuel it with your gasoline 

This inferno...

This inferno

This inferno...

Must, grow and grow and grow and grow 

This inferno...

This inferno

This inferno...

Must, grow and grow and grow and grow 

Black And White

The black man has his problems

His skin his only fate

The white man in his ignorance 

Is troubled with his hate

Yet neither one will take the time

To look at each within

And see the only difference

Is the colour of their skin

If each could only understand

That people are the same

That each and every one of them

Is just as much to blame

This hatred for another

Is a choice YOU came to choose 

And if the feelings mutual 

Then the both of you will lose

No need for segregation 

As each one of us is free

Just open up your eyes 

And maybe one of you will see

That every man is equal 

And each one deserves the right 

To walk upon this sacred earth

No matter black or white 

New Years Day

New years day is nearly here

The bells shall ring, the crowds will cheer

As fireworks ignite the sky

The last year ends upon a high

Songs we'll sing in jubilation 

Carried over ever nation 

Kisses, hugs, and joyful laughter 

Happy ever fucking after

Least until those bells stop ringing 

With the cease of all the singing

Back to war and people dying

Families butchered, children crying

What is it you celebrate?

A world that's usually full of hate!

New year day is just a farce

So stick it up your arse

The Insignificant Death Of Nobody - A short story from the other side

It was a strange death. Quite fitting for a man who hated life. It would be three days, seven hours and exactly fifty three seconds until my decomposing body was found. During that time, i had enjoyed the silence. Except for those damn crows that perched on a nearby fence, frustrated that they where unable to tuck into the bounty they smelled drifting from a window left ajar. On my death bed, i rested at last. Nobody came to bang on my door. The phone didn't ring once. It was as if i had never existed, but that suited me fine. I had no friends as such. No partner, as i was unloveable. No children. No job. No car. I was alone in that world, an outcast of pretty much everything. Life was a burden to me. It seemed to enjoy draining everything that was ever good. So my final breath whispered the words  "Fuck you" in an attempt to have the last insult. I'm not sure it worked though, as death has a way of having the last laugh, and i swear i heard someone say "No, fuck you!" just before my heart exploded in my chest. 

Being so negative in life only made death a breeze. When one has no respect for living, then he can only welcome his end, because death is the only one sure thing in life. As a child, i once watched a butterfly crawl out from its cocoon. I marveled at the beautiful creature that emerged, and touched its wings with the tip of my finger. It felt like velvet, and life was quite literally at my fingertips. The butterfly flew for the first time, hovering above my head for a second, before colliding straight into a cobweb. The resident spider dashed out, grabbed the butterfly, and then rewrapped it in a cocoon of silk. Death has no remorse, but in life, we are drenched in it.

My funeral was of little interest. Although there were a few familiar faces. None of which knew me, or cared for that matter. Some people have to show up at these occasions, as they feel the inner hope that they once had a friend. Now gone, the funeral is only for their benefit, so that other people will now feel sorry for them at the tragic loss of a loved one. The service was simple. Songs i never knew. Prayers that spoke of things that in death i knew were untrue. I was in limbo. In a state of nothingness. No white light. No gathering of ancestors to greet me. No steps to ascend, or pits to fall into oblivion. It was all a lie! And the only truth about it was, well, that stays a secret, because i can't fucking tell anybody about it now I'm dead. 

If i could live my life over, would i change anything? I don't think i would, because now i know that everything i ever did in life was bullshit. In life i saved up and bought things that i believed treasures, only these treasures turned out to be another persons junk. The important things cannot be recycled. There is no peace without war. There is no love without hate. Every positive has a negative. And every life has a death. So why would i change a life when the outcome would be exactly the same.

I didn't feel the flames as they turned me to ash. My body had be abandoned. I just watched the thing ignite, burn, and then collapse like an unfurnished, derelict home. I sat and listened to the preacher with his blah blah blah. Then it was over. My life, my miserable fucking life, now a pile of ash. Ash to be tipped somewhere for any passerby to trample over and not even know i was there. 

Life sucks... And i wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I was once like that butterfly. Struggling to be beautiful, only to be tethered in a world that didn't like me. Now i walk amongst you, without restraint. I am nothing or nobody. I am free.

The End